Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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