So drunk, too bad you don't want this
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
