hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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