I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
