I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
