the condom got lost in my hair
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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