Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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