I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
