how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I need help removing her.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
