Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
