your parents love me but you hate me
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
