just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
