The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm really busy with my period
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