You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
