She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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