I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
