yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
