so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
