I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
