the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
