You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
