Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
