Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
