small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
