I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
