i permit you to call me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
