I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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