im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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