Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
All I want is dick and wine.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
