are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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