So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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