This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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