Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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