someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize