Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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