I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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