You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
