Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There r osticjed everywhere
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
