my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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