i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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