Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize