we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Randomize
