There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
