So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
wow bdsm is so cute
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