my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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