3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You took a bar mat shot.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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