I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i think i just lost a toe
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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