I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
