I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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