I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
