there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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