need another drink. this is the easiest way
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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