she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
