I only kidnapped one of them. chill
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
