i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
