I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
