What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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