sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
