Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Your penis caused this!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
