Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
