A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I would ride that face into the sunset
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
