"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just blew my weed a kiss
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
