He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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