As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
