i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
