question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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