im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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