Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
