I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
