i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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