When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
