I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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