You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
