Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
