I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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