i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Blow job season was short but glorious.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
