She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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