i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
